Out of the Shadows: More Horrors Await!

Hey, everyone,

I just wanted to give an update regarding where I've been and when I plan to write my next review. I know it's been quite some time since I wrote my last, which was for M. Night Shyamalan's 1999 Oscar-nominated supernatural horror drama, The Sixth Sense, published on November 13th (an easy date to remember since it was my birthday). Let me tell you, going 43 days without writing a movie review doesn't feel too good. Even worse, I don't have the option to resume until minimum two weeks from now. To be more specific, the next time I can even think about writing a review will be January 7th, 2025, meaning the next time I publish won't be until at least January 8th, since a review always takes me two days to complete. To all my loyal readers anticipating my next review (assuming you guys exist and I'm not just deluding myself), I felt I owe it to you to explain why the extended hiatus and when you can expect my next one to surface.

Truthfully, my 16th post shouldn't be this. Two weeks ago, I began writing my 11th review, for Nicolas Pesce's 2016 psychological slasher directorial debut, The Eyes of My Mother. Shortly after commencing work, I experienced a customary spell of writer's block and crippling insecurity, and consequently deleted the post. That wasn't the first time that happened, either. The Sixth Sense, I started the first paragraph, deleted it, and rewrote it the following week. Same went for my review of Scream. As a writer, that is far and away the worst feeling, to begin a review, become insecure in my words, listen to the sadistic voice in my head urging me to discard it, then force myself to rewatch the movie and rewrite the review from scratch no earlier than the following week. For me, the hardest part about writing a review is, oddly enough, the plot summary. Once I transition from my thesis to the factual details of the movie in question, I often get myself tangled up and overelaborate on the plot, to the point where I find myself almost writing the screenplay. Instead of painting a brief but clear picture of the most crucial aspects of the story, I almost subconsciously rehash every last minute detail I can remember. Sadly, that's what hamstrung my writing process last Tuesday, and once I realized I had stepped into this mud pit yet again, it instantly drained me of all momentum. When this happens, it makes it extremely difficult to re-enter the opinion-oriented stages of the review.

What makes this latest failed attempt worse than usual is the dreaded holidays. As if I needed another reason to dislike them, Christmas and New Year's fall two weeks in a row. Last Wednesday, I attended a Christmas dinner at the home of my parents' best friend (an extraordinary woman whom I consider a second mother), and next Tuesday, I'll be celebrating the new year at the same location. If both holidays landed on a Thursday-Sunday, that would be different, because here's my strict routine for blogging: I watch a movie Monday afternoon, take notes as soon as it's over, start the review Tuesday, late morning/early afternoon, and finish Wednesday afternoon. As luck would spit on me, Christmas Day happened to fall on Wednesday this year, and New Year's Eve will transpire next Tuesday. 

While the unfortunate reality is that it's easier to not watch a movie and spend two days writing about it than to do either, it's far more rewarding to accomplish both goals, especially when I reach the end of each assignment and can publish it, adding another entry to the blog. When I first created The Cherry Hill Chainsaw Massacre, my goal was to write a post (typically a horror movie review) every week. In other words, watch a horror film every Monday afternoon, and spend every Tuesday and Wednesday crafting the review. And make no mistake, that is still very much the goal. Once I cross the hurdle that is next week, rest assured, the reviews will resume pouring in. I can't necessarily guarantee it'll be in two weeks, being that I don't own a crystal ball that would enable me to see into the future, but I can comfortably assert that's my intention. Even more assuredly, I can guarantee the next post that will fall will be a review for The Eyes of My Mother. Frustratingly, that entails my rewatching the movie and rewriting my notes. On the plus side, it is one of the greatest, most morbidly beautiful horror movies of the past decade, and only takes up 77 minutes of my time. The two-week-minimum break doesn't hurt, either. 

So after next week, you can expect a horror movie review to land on Wednesday afternoons. If not every Wednesday consecutively, at least along the lines of every other Wednesday. Very seldom will I go longer than a month without posting. If I do, it's not because I've lost interest in writing reviews and other horror-related content for the blog. Work-wise, this is my life, and I intend for this blog to be my legacy as Roger Ebert's was (and still technically is) for him. It would just be because of something like two weeks in a row of holiday obligations or some other external aspect of the human experience that's out of my control. If I could cut out every inconvenience and roadblock presented by this unpredictable world, in order to ensure I could write a review every single week, I wouldn't hesitate. Alas, I can only write when I can. 

After next week, brace yourselves for an influx of more horror movie reviews, trailer reactions, and top 5-10 lists in the approaching new year. I certainly can't wait to get back into the groove of doing what I love most, and I hope you guys are equally as excited to read my upcoming articles. In the meantime, here's to a safe, happy, healthy, terrifyingly awesome new year, and I look forward to writing for you guys as soon as January 2025.

Stay tuned for upcoming thrills and chills, and thank you for your readership and patience!

Jordan Pressler